The past week has got some valuble Bollywood 'showtime' as I got to see three Hindi movies. Invariably, my luck is rotten enough to say that all the three movies are flop! I wouldn't blame the producers or the directors, but I would surely blame the camera man.. because He focused on all the wrong "areas" of the heroes and heroines during the whole movie. :P Presenting to you my review of three flop watched in the past 3 days. They are : OOPS, NEAL n NIKKI, and PAAP.
Interested? then read further...
All three movies have one aspect clearly drawn out : Lots of Skin Showing!
Oh well, being the summer.. this wasnt a tad bit as bad as I thought..But, I got to say I would prefer the winter anyday after seeing the array of clothes (or lack of them)
OOPS..is a movie about a dancer boy who wants to be rich, and therefore turns into a striptease boy..who actually ends up sleeping with a middle-aged woman for money and finds out soon...that the middle aged woman is his best friends's mom!
Kahaani ki twist is good! But, the yuckiest part of the twist is they actually DARED to bring "emotions" and "maa sentiments" in the end. Would you get a load of that?? :P
My final Verdict: Stripteasing for men is Hazardous!!! not just for the best friends but also for the viewers who get a load of "long dialogues" after a lot of 'action'!
NEAL n NIKKI: Now, this u know is a story about a guy(Neal) who is born and brought up in Canada...but who wants to get laid soooo bad...that he ends up tagging along with a psychopath shrieking Banshee girl called Nikki! And He actually ends up thinking Nikki is the best one night stand he can end up with!(courtesy: her bitchy clothes..or the lack of it).
And even though you might hope their brains would start working after all the cooked up chemistry.. you end up figuring out how they ended up losing more brains in the [inter]course of the night! So, Neal goes on to marry the "girl" he is betrothed from(punjab da khet) whose cousin unluckily happens to be our shrieking banshee girl!
But, I must say its a real cool ending though. Nikki tries to stop the marriage.. but hellooo a chooha-like Sardarji stands up bravely and tells everyone that he wants to marry the Bride..bcause they have exchanged vows online!!! Now,with the film providing us with so many brain-less ppl, you actually appreciate the sardarji!
My final Verdict: Neal and Nangi..whoops i mean Nikki dont know how to kiss but you're lucky enough that they kiss a lot because atleast thats one good way to make the screaming banshee Nikki SHUT UP! (oh n not to mention gud way to close the flutter fake eyelashes of the fake-contact-lens-wearing Neal)
PAAP: well, dont get me started on this one...honestly...
Its a story about DALAI LAMA's re-incarnation..(although the movie cover has a half nude JOhn Abraham with an equally half nude girl (who would pass off as a bitch anyday)
Yes, my dear Ppl. presenting to you an A movie with DLama In it..which gave me half grey hair! But, getting back to the movie..they start it off with a sexy girl swimming et all..and end up in a monastry..where she is supposed to be a 'soon-to-be-monk' seeking "TRUTH".
Some facts of LIfe (from the movie)
1) one of those slum area-nepalese boys could be a Dalai Lama's re-incarnation who maybe soughted out by a sexy girl
2)Always check if the bathroom of a top 5 star hotel is deserted..because You never know when a hot-shot famous man with a pistol might appear and kill one of your fellow bathroom mates.
3) Never say the truth to a hot sexy police man because that will prolong the torture of the audience(movie could have ended in half n hour!)
Oh and one of the most important ones
4) a sexy girl's prayers can save a man who has a bullet hole through his stomach!(yup...no docs needed..watsoever!!)
oh and did i forget...
5) after an action packed english movie like fight, a prolonged emotional dialogue by a police guy is what changes the heart of monks!!! So much so that they decide that the sexy girl wanting to have intercourse with an equally hot policeguy is no longer PAAAP..
OH.... THE REVELATION IS TOOO GOOOD!! :P
My final verdict: Too bad John Abraham survives the bloody wound..because it's what trigged a change in the whole Dalai Lama dynasty's thinking!!! Oh.. and the heroine has Asthma problems.. because she keeps breathing too heavily..( although they make us believe it is due to lust..but its actually due to suffocation..somethin that the viewers can relate with very well!!)
Do me a favor, and please send me a list of good ol traditional ENGLISH MOVIES that I can watch and re-deem some of my lost braincells...
10 comments:
uhahhhhhaaaaaaha :) you just let your hair loose while writing this post didnt you....
want my list ?
I thought you loved Neal and Nikki.. you even byhearted all those loos songs..:)
Dont watch Fanaa... That's for sure... Half of whatever brains I had left were eaten up by the movie....
[Vc]
Haan..I decided my "Badra-Kali" version of review would do something good to ppl here :D
[Libran]
Oh, thanks for the caution! I do think Im goinna watch it soon..But, I will try to give my braincells a protection shield..
No amount of protection can save you from the toxic quality of the rays emanating from Fanaa... the only way out is to not be exposed to it :)
Divya dont listen to B-a-l.. Fanaa is one of those movies that you must watch. The first half is okish and the chemistry is okitoki..i think you'll like it ..in some of the scenes i was reminded of the film Baazi *ing Amir and Mamatha Kulkarni ( i wonder what happ to her) and the songs are hummable.Yep i do agree Tabu is eeeeeW but comeon this is so much better than Neal and Naangee or Oops or Paap ( but that song ..is amazing Lagan ligee dil se dil kee). Go for the comedy films like Chupke Chupke(old One) and Deewana Mastana( govinda and Anil)or Chameli ki Shaadi or Baazigar( thu pyar hai kisi aur ki thujhe chaahatha koi aur hai.) and :)
I think that is enough for today :)
gr8 !!...u managed to watch those 3 movies ans still survive!!
I just changed my mind... Fanaa is far far better than The Pirates of the Caribbean II. Fanaa could have been a whole lot better and it does have it's moments but on the whole, it was a disappointment...
i liked pirates of teh acrriabean
Post a Comment